To "dress" or not to "dress"...

Ah, that is the question. Or it seems to have been the question of my life. To give a quick background, I came from a home where my dad asked me at the age of 12 to begin wearing skirts exclusively. In the day and age we live in, he sounded nuts to me. My wonderful mom wore pants. I had never heard him talk about me wearing skirts until we started attending our new church. But being the kind of kid that I was, even though I was at time rebellious, I really didn't like conflict, so I "gave in" to his request without much of a fight. Besides, that just meant new clothes! :)

Life moved on. I had the occasional look from a stranger, or a question from a family member in regards to why I dressed that way. My answer? Weak. I would sputter off things I had heard my father say and other families that dressed like me, but I think it wasn't hard to hide the fact that the conviction was never mine.

Just to interject here. If you are a young lady in this situation, meaning, your parents ask you to dress a certain way and it either A.) is confusing why you do it or B.) it is not your thing, I encourage you to continue. For a number of reasons. If it's for reason A, I encourage you to do what I never did, search it out for yourself. Ask your parents, your pastors, even peers can be a good thing. But use caution, because someone might be in the same boat as you. If your answer is B., let me tell you that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that even though I didn't understand the whole modesty issue, and at times, just wanted to put on a pair of pants, I know by obeying my father's request and showing him honor, I was right where God wanted me.

Moving on. So here I am. Newly married. My husband doesn't really mind if I wear pants. What to do? For the first little bit, I continued to wear what I had, because let's face it, clothes are expensive. But slowly, I bought a pair jeans here, and a shorter skirt there and BAM! 4 years later, I am doing my thing. Let me make something very clear. Again, I don't think I was completely out of God's will. What I mean by this is my husband was not asking me to wear anything different then I was. I wasn't harboring bad feelings towards what my father asked me to do for years. I simply felt that you can be modest in pants and wear what you want as long as you don't have a check. My fault was, I wasn't seeking out answers.

I had stopped searching for God's best. I had stopped yearning to aim for the highest. I was coasting. I was livin' life and not thinking about much except how much I loved my man, and what my day brought.

Things began to change. I started feeling off. I started wondering why was I so unhappy. I realized quickly that my source of joy is in Christ Jesus. So I began to walk with Him. Talk with Him. I began to see things in the Bible I never saw before. Things bothered me that never did before. This was conviction. Now that I was walking in the spirit, I was able to hear what the Lord wanted for my life. This was all so new and exciting!

So where I am right now is as follows: at the start. I really don't have all the answers. I have some principles about modesty that I would like to share in my next blog. But I really am taking it day to day. And honestly, I don't have any desire to wear what I wore before. I like being more feminine and ladylike. And I have found some skirts that are flattering and nice.

Before I end this I want to say this is not going to be a series on why all woman should wear skirts. The best part about all of this for me is that God is only showing me what is right for my life. I have been so excited because I have made changes in my life because God told me to, not someone else. And it is so freeing. I have never experienced anything like that before. I don't have bitterness, or confusion. Just peace. And that is how I know it is of God. I will show in another post that you can wear the longest skirt and a turtle neck and still be immodest. This is all a heart issue that is revealing itself outwardly.


  1. This was a very good post, Julie. Thankyou for your honesty and openess. I am planning a similar post sometime...don't know when, but my thoughts are similar to yours. I am looking forward to more of your thoughts. God Bless!

  2. What a treasure this post is to Christian young ladies, especially. So often, in many areas of Christianity, I hear kids "spout off" an answer that is automatic and not conviction. "Man looketh upon the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." Your heart may not have been convicted about modesty but it was thoroughly honoring your father and that, you will be blessed for!!!!