Refiner's fire

No matter what I loose, the Refiner's fire is what I chose.

These words stood out to me in a song I recently heard. Is that me? Would I be willing to go through pain, loss, and struggle, so that the Lord can teach me a lesson and I come out the better for Him?

Job 23:10 is one of my favorite verses. He says, "But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold." I meditated on this verse in my teen years. I even wrote a song based on this verse. But I struggle at times for it to be my true heart. I like comforts. Who doesn't? I like people to like me. I do not like conflict. And I could never imagine one of my family members taken away from me suddenly.

But God promises us that he can transform us during times of trial. Not just come out of a loss alive. Not just make it through. But to actually learn and grow from this trial.

We all have trials. Little ones and big. We had two very big trials this year in our family. One of which was the deployment. But we made it through. And I know that I came out the better. I learned so much. I learned to trust God. I learned to be independent. I learned to pull my joy from Christ alone, not from others. I learned to love my husband better. And I learned that I love my girls and that this time goes by so fast.

So even though I am cautious in actually asking God for a trial, I ask God to continue to change me. To mold me. To make me come forth as gold, so that I may cast it at his feet. He is worthy of so much more then I can give.

I leave you with the chorus to the song I wrote when I was 16-ish.

But He knoweth the way and each step that I take.
He is there in the fire, for my poor soul's sake.
And when the fire is quenched of it's flame,
I shall come forth as gold.