Humility

I don't know why I continue to be amazed by how God works. If I believe His word is true, then I know that He will supply what I need exactly when I need it. I have been struggling lately with getting it right. I see so many areas in my life that need to be worked on that it is just overwhelming. At times, I just want to give it all up. It appears from the outside that it would be easier to just take the broad way and not fight in this battle that we are in. But I need to come to my senses. The facts are these: we ARE in a battle. And I have been blessed beyond belief to be a child of God. Chosen to fight in HIS army. How dare I complain??

I have been seeking God's direction in where I specifically need to work on. But my own strength (or better yet, weakness) gets in the way. I again become overwhelmed. Fast forward to last night. We had a new preacher in. I had heard him preach a couple other times, and I knew I was in for some good preaching. To actually hear from God, and not a man.

God delivered. He gave me just what I needed. Where do I fail? Humility. Matthew 5:3 says,

Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Poor in spirit is where I fall short. It doesn't mean you cower to others and feel unworthy. It's knowing your God and seeing all HE has done. All HE does. And realizing how amazing it is that we are even a part of the big picture.

Pastor gave us a list of 6 things to know if you are truly humble. I would like to share them. Really just to brand them even more on my heart.

When you are truly humble,
1.You are lost in the wonder of it all. Remember when you first got saved? Remember how exciting it was. And the Bible. How you could not get enough of it...
2.You won't complain, regardless of the situation. I could write pages on my wrongs in this area.
3. You are going to see others strengths (not weaknesses) more clearly. You know... take the beam out of your own eye...
4.You are thankful for everything God has put in your life. This includes the so called bad stuff.
5. You will surrender to God multiple times a day. This one is my favorite. It clicked with me. I have heard this and even said it before, but have I done it?
6. You will be lifted up. James 4:10 is my verse of memorization for today. "Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up."

I could write forever. I am so thrilled that God gives us second, third, three hundredth chances!! I just pray that this is me. I truly want to be humbled. I want him to be exalted. Lord help me...

With God it is possible

As I came across this verse in the Bible, I was challenged to look at myself and see if I truly believe this. My mouth says that I do, but my actions show that I do not. Jesus said that if I really believed, I could move mountains. Where is my belief? What is my confidence in? Not God, because if it was, I could get through my daily challenges.

I decided, since I am a very simple person and I like lists, to make out a list of things that ARE possible. Things that I struggle with. Things that I don't give to God to conquer. Here are a few that were on my list:

1. My children can learn to obey. (We've had some days of struggle lately, and at times I feel like giving up. But God promises that our faithfulness will pay off in the end.)

2. They can come to the Lord. (I have a few people in my life that have no regard for God and who he is. I have been burdened to pray for them more because I know they still can turn to the Lord.)

3. I can make it through today. (I realize this is very general, but on those days that I had been sleep deprived the night before and I have a heap of laundry, I have been known to say out loud, "I am not going to make it today." But remember, with God...

I have some other ones on my list, a bit more personal. But I think this is a good start. I know now, that with God, I can do it, no matter what the task. Even move a mountain!!

Being faithful

He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much.~Luke 16:10

This stuck out to me during my devotional. I have read this verse many times and have even heard teaching on it, but it hit me hard this time. Am I faithful in the little things?

We all like to be acknowledged. I love to hear praise. I will be honest. I don't think that is always a bad thing, but is it the best thing? We have to look at the bigger picture. We should be doing something so CHRIST gets the praise. That HE is exalted.

Going back to the question, am I faithful in the little things? I started to go over a list in my head and I realized, there are many things on my "I really hate doing that, so let me hold off for as long as I can" list. No more. I can't be like that. God has convicted me. I need to do everything with the same earnest and the same dedication. It's all important.

I realize that I need to prioritize. I can't clean the bathroom 3 times a week anymore... I have kids to take care of. But it's really about attitude. Why am I doing this? Because it needs to get done? Or because I want others to see what I did and tell me how great I am?

I think about church ministry. So many thankless jobs out there. So many things that people do at church that NO ONE knows about. But God does. And one day it will all come to light. We will see truly who were faithful and I think we may be surprised.

So my prayer is that God helps me with the little things. And that I do them with joy. Knowing, that changing the sheets is a way I can serve God and my family. Knowing, that sending out that note to that someone in need is a way to encourage. And knowing, that taking that phone call, when I really want to take a nap, or read a book, is a way I can love my God.

All is well

How sweet it is to be able to say these words during time of turmoil and testing. I am reminded of the song and it's sweet words:

Come come ye saints. No toil, or labour, or fear. But with joy... We have a living Lord to guide us and we can trust him to provide. All is well. All is well.

It's only to the testimony of our great Lord and Saviour that we can sing this. Not of my strength, but of His. I praise God for His new mercy and grace each and every day.

Your faith is a crutch

I had this conversation with a friend the other day. She was not being hostile, or mean. She even stated that she wished she could have my faith, but couldn't help but feel that my faith seemed like a crutch. I once heard that Christ is not a crutch, but a whole new pair of legs!! Really, this world uses everything else as a crutch. Relationships, work, sex, alcohol, religion.... it could go on and on.

But what I have is REAL! And that is what is so exciting! I say, Christians are not WEAK for accepting Christ, but strong. We see that there is a spiritual need and we embrace the cure. Others try to suppress this feeling of fear and doubt and mask it with other things.

I told my friend that nothing I ever say could turn her heart to Christ. I know she struggles to get past all the miracles and stories of the Bible. And I told her that I struggle at times to grasp it all. But the difference is that I accept the Bible as the true word of God. I encourage her to read His word and let him do a work in her heart.

As for me, I am loving my new legs and am so thankful that the "Good Physician" cured me. :)

My wake up call

Did you ever get hit smack in the face with a big flaw? Like, it comes out of nowhere and takes you by surprise? I got this the past week. It's so hard for me to share this, but in a way, by writing, it's my accountability. It's my way of letting myself know that now that I know where I need to work, there is no excuse.

There has been a series of events that have led up to this point. A couple of weeks ago, I had a really big heart to heart with a friend. I was sharing some struggles with her that she had dealt with in years past. She was honest with me. Blunt in fact. And at the time she was talking to me, and questioning my motives in an area of my life, I was pushing her away. I denied a lot of what she said and tried to steer the conversation back to safe and none threatening ground. But honestly, the Holy spirit was using her to start a work in my heart. Little did she know, I was very quiet during the conversation on the phone because I was crying from being convicted.

I am going to be blunt here. But I first want to say that if I offend some, I do not mean to. As always, we all have made mistakes and God is gracious to forgive. Also, we are all on different paths and the things I struggle with may be a breeze for someone else... bring in Sandra.

If you don't know Sandra and Mike, you don't know that they make a great couple. They fit together just right. Sandra and I laugh at times that Mike and Peter tend to be alike. They both are a little anal about things. They both want to do everything the right way, and have their opinion on how these things should be done. We have spent much time with them as a couple and I will be honest, when they leave our house sometimes, I have this unsettled feeling. Why? I figured it out. Conviction.

Sandra is no dummy. She is a smart, independent lady. And she doesn't need anyone else to think for her. But she has this very submissive, quiet spirit towards her husband that I yearn for. Even though she can figure things our for herself, she always asks Mike for his opinion. She actually WANTS to know what he thinks.

As for me.... I have a harder time with that. I think I made myself think that I knew what submission was and that I had that with Peter. But lately God has made it VERY clear, especially through my husband, that often I have a bad attitude and want to be in control. It is such a struggle for me.

Peter has really pointed out my lack of respect for him. So many times, people ask me to participate in something, or help them in someway that interferes with our schedule. Peter is very giving of his time, and even though he usually would want me to go help, he would like to be asked. I can not tell you how many times I volunteer, then come to him and say, " Is that OK that I go?" His reply, "Why bother asking me if you already committed?" Why do I want to please others before my husband. I was hit hard today what lack of respect that is showing him.

This is only a small picture of what really is going on in my heart. I know I constantly want to be in control. And I know that if Peter was not as strong of a man as he is, I would be walking all over him and "wearing the pants in the family." I am so thankful that he quietly and graciously shows me my error and waits for me to fix it. He's so patient.

I am encouraged in a way, because at least now I see where I am at. I was blinded before. Not seeing how ugly my heart really can be. But I know that God is willing to change me if only I am willing to let go and let him lead. I think I may be doing more studying on submission... to God and my husband. I can't wait to see what God will show me. And I thank God that he gave me a man with such patience. I could not ask for a better husband for me.

Count it all joy

I am assuming that someone who is reading my blog is going through a trial and being encouraged, or that I have one coming in the near future and God is preparing me. Once again, God has been focusing on trials in my studies.

I am learning very quickly that the fear of the Lord and humility go hand in hand. And without these 2 things, you will have a very difficult time getting through a trial. Proverbs 8:13 says,"The fear of the Lord is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way..." I believe God uses trials and hard times for many reasons. I think God puts suffering in the lives of his children that are not obeying or fearing him. Read Jeremiah 24:5-7.

We can greatly benefit from the trials of the Lord. Hannah did. As discussed in the last blog, Hannah was suffering with not being able to conceive. But once she surrendered, gave her son to the Lord, the Lord granted her more children! And Job was blessed far above what he had before it was all taken away. Why? Each of them saw that God is still good even when things were difficult. Job praised God for his goodness. He had humility and fear.

Hannah, once she surrendered to God, had a peace. She rose up, and ate. She no more had a sorrowful countenance. She loved her husband. I am learning this in my life. I came to the realization that God is actually in control. I know, sounds simple. But it's hard to accept for someone like me who likes to be in complete control.

My struggle lately has been the subject of deployment. Being careful what I write, Peter could go anytime. He could get called up now, or 6-7 months from now. With only days notice... or weeks. And to top it off, he may not even go. It's been driving me crazy. I can deal with another deployment, but I need to know... NOW! Ha. I always had said that the military decides our future. Then, last week, I got this HUGE epiphany... GOD decides our future. Didn't I think that MAYBE God let's the military know if He wants Peter to go. I'm so silly sometimes.

Soooooo.... here I am. At peace. I still can't think about it too much, because my flesh gets in the way. I start to wonder, to worry. I have to give it to God daily. Along with some other areas in my life. But I am grateful that God has showed me this lesson.