Let me ask you this...

As promised, I wanted to add 4 good questions to ask yourself when you are trying to figure things out. These can be used for clothes, music, entertainment, and more.

Question #1: What (or with whom) am I associating? There is a perfect example of this in Corinthians, where Paul was dealing with the believers being divided over whether or not they should eat the meat offered to idols. So, you can ask in this case, what is a V-neck shirt generally associated with? These days, the way our culture is, we can not really ask what pants are associated with. Pants are no longer considered rebellious like they once were. But let me just throw this out there, just because the world changes, should we be following close behind? I can't even fully answer this one without my head spinning.

Question #2:Am I controlled by it? I Corinthians 6:12, "All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient (profitable): all things are lawful for me,but I will not be brought under the power of any." So the question is, am I controlled by fashion or what others think? This one is the easiest for me because if you know me, you know I am not fashionable. I am not a shoe girl, or a purse girl. I just want something that is going to make me look thinner... like any other woman. :)

Question #3:Is it edifying to my brothers and sisters in Christ or is it a stumbling block? We see in Romans, verses that fit this perfectly. 15: 1-3a, "We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let every one of us please his neighbor for his (the neighbor's) good to edification. For even Christ pleased not himself..." Also see I Corinthians 8:9. Basically, when making any choice, we need to consider how others will be effected.

Question #4:Does it glorify God? First we need to define "Glorifying God". It is displaying Him and His attributes back to Him in view of others. I Corinthians 10:31, "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." Simply said, is what I am wearing reflect who my God is?

To sum up a few things, I would like to say I absolutely believe a woman can glorify God and be wearing pants. I know many MANY strong Christians that differ with me on this topic. That is OK. Because all I am doing is showing everyone why I stand where I do. It has taken a lot of studying and prayer on my part. I did not take this lightly simply for the fact that in 2 years, I didn't want to change my mind.

The question in our family has come up, "What will we do about the girls?" As of right now, they still wear shorts, pants, diapers! :) What we feel is that we want to teach our girls about modesty. And focus a lot on it being a heart issue. We don't feel we want to tell our girls they can not wear pants. But we will have standards. And who knows, down the road this might change. I just pray when they grow up and leave the house, they will take what we have taught them with them and make the decision to wear modest apparel.

I don't think I added this, but I want to say that I believe there are times that pants just need to happen. For instance, I wear pants and sometimes long shorts to the gym. Why? If I was wearing anything else, it would be inappropriate. Also, there are some professions, like medical professions, that ladies are asked to wear scrubs. My mom is actually one of them. I know there is an argument both ways. I am just stating where I stand.

So to conclude my whole modesty discussion, I really want to emphasize that it all comes down to the heart. We are all in different walks in life. We are at different places with the Lord. And it took me YEARS to get where I am at, even after hearing this teaching over and over. Only God can put these things in your heart and if you try to force it, you will end up changing in a few years. If you try to fight it, you will be miserable.

To "dress" or not to "dress"...

Ah, that is the question. Or it seems to have been the question of my life. To give a quick background, I came from a home where my dad asked me at the age of 12 to begin wearing skirts exclusively. In the day and age we live in, he sounded nuts to me. My wonderful mom wore pants. I had never heard him talk about me wearing skirts until we started attending our new church. But being the kind of kid that I was, even though I was at time rebellious, I really didn't like conflict, so I "gave in" to his request without much of a fight. Besides, that just meant new clothes! :)

Life moved on. I had the occasional look from a stranger, or a question from a family member in regards to why I dressed that way. My answer? Weak. I would sputter off things I had heard my father say and other families that dressed like me, but I think it wasn't hard to hide the fact that the conviction was never mine.

Just to interject here. If you are a young lady in this situation, meaning, your parents ask you to dress a certain way and it either A.) is confusing why you do it or B.) it is not your thing, I encourage you to continue. For a number of reasons. If it's for reason A, I encourage you to do what I never did, search it out for yourself. Ask your parents, your pastors, even peers can be a good thing. But use caution, because someone might be in the same boat as you. If your answer is B., let me tell you that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that even though I didn't understand the whole modesty issue, and at times, just wanted to put on a pair of pants, I know by obeying my father's request and showing him honor, I was right where God wanted me.

Moving on. So here I am. Newly married. My husband doesn't really mind if I wear pants. What to do? For the first little bit, I continued to wear what I had, because let's face it, clothes are expensive. But slowly, I bought a pair jeans here, and a shorter skirt there and BAM! 4 years later, I am doing my thing. Let me make something very clear. Again, I don't think I was completely out of God's will. What I mean by this is my husband was not asking me to wear anything different then I was. I wasn't harboring bad feelings towards what my father asked me to do for years. I simply felt that you can be modest in pants and wear what you want as long as you don't have a check. My fault was, I wasn't seeking out answers.

I had stopped searching for God's best. I had stopped yearning to aim for the highest. I was coasting. I was livin' life and not thinking about much except how much I loved my man, and what my day brought.

Things began to change. I started feeling off. I started wondering why was I so unhappy. I realized quickly that my source of joy is in Christ Jesus. So I began to walk with Him. Talk with Him. I began to see things in the Bible I never saw before. Things bothered me that never did before. This was conviction. Now that I was walking in the spirit, I was able to hear what the Lord wanted for my life. This was all so new and exciting!

So where I am right now is as follows: at the start. I really don't have all the answers. I have some principles about modesty that I would like to share in my next blog. But I really am taking it day to day. And honestly, I don't have any desire to wear what I wore before. I like being more feminine and ladylike. And I have found some skirts that are flattering and nice.

Before I end this I want to say this is not going to be a series on why all woman should wear skirts. The best part about all of this for me is that God is only showing me what is right for my life. I have been so excited because I have made changes in my life because God told me to, not someone else. And it is so freeing. I have never experienced anything like that before. I don't have bitterness, or confusion. Just peace. And that is how I know it is of God. I will show in another post that you can wear the longest skirt and a turtle neck and still be immodest. This is all a heart issue that is revealing itself outwardly.